He stretched out his hand and felt an empty roll. Damn it all! No toilet paper in the house, and to make matters worse, no newspaper! Then it hit him. The sentence to end his mystery novel – “The blood patterns proved it, he was standing.”
His sweating hand reached for the spool and griped a cardboard roll – the toilet paper was indeed gone. All thoughts halted in one moment. And slowly surfaced. This was a dinner party. In the very next room, they were eating. How could he get up and retrieve the extra roll from the hallway cabinet? Would anyone see him? How in the world could he call someone to help him, everyone would hear! But, ah. He reached in his pocket and recognized the smooth plastic edges of his cell phone. Please dear God, let Marcia have hers on!
A poor representation of Moonlight Sonata beeped in the hallway. Marcia excused herself from the dining table and retrieved her purse. She answered the phone, quite annoyed.
[Marcia, I need a little help.]
"Graham? Is that you? What in the world are you calling me inside your house for?"
[I ran out of toilet paper, and need you to get it for me.]
"Is this some kind of gag?"
[No,] he laughed, [I'm serious. I don't want to risk someone seeing me without any pants on.]
Marcia's surprise overcomes her and she bursts into laughter. "You are the most pathetic case..."
[Oh, come on, hurry up and grab the toilet paper from the hallway cabinet. Set it by the bathroom door.]
"I might just want to make you suffer."
"Remember how much you embarrassed me at Robert Stienman's birthday? I'll never forgive you for that."
[Oh my God, that was three years ago! How long can you hold a grudge?! I was drunk!]
She smiled and shrugged, "Still..."
[Please Marcia, I'm getting inspiration here, and there's no toilet paper even to write a word on, much less clean myself. Please!!!!!!]
"Fine. Hang on a second."
Marcia hung up the phone and ran to the cabinet. She grabbed the first roll she saw and set it infront of the bathroom door. "It's there."
"Are you leaving?"
"As fast as I can."
"Thank you, I won't forget it."
There was no reply, Marcia took her seat back at the dining table. "People call about the strangest things."